I Rise

Hey everyone! Welcome back!

I know I’ve been absent for a terribly long time, and that’s largely due to the fact that my life – has been, and still is, in flux. My previous predicament of lack of future direction aside, so many changes have been occurring in my life. I’ve also been preoccupied with numerous advocacy activities, working on personal goals, and of course, the good ol’ 9-5.

There are things which I desperately want to share with you, alas, it is not yet time. It’s so hard to remain so tight-lipped about them, but time uncovers all things. I have been writing however; though not as frequently as I’d like, and nothing for the public domain just yet. Be that as it may, I jotted down a few words while I was attending the most recent Caribbean Women and Sexual Diversity Conference in St. Croix early last month (I’ll be posting more about this soon); and I’d like to share them with you.

We were asked to share our personal stories, and my group decided to pen something brief that described an instance in our lives wherein we overcame adversity. It’s nothing particularly spectacular (my writing skills need much improvement), but as last month was Mental Health Month, my thoughts were centered on that theme.

There was a period of time during which I seriously questioned whether my life was worth living, and if I wanted to continue my existence. The things I’ve done since having this particular experience has shown me that it is. If you ever pose the same questions to yourself, I hope you arrive at the same answer.

Here is what I wrote:

Cold water running in rivulets down my skin.

I’m cold.

My arms wrapped around my knees

binding my limbs together

the physical manifestation of how

in this moment

I am desperately trying to hold myself together

as my very being feels like it is being torn

asunder.

I know I have to get up.

I know I must.

This cannot get the better of me

I simply will not allow it to.

I cannot succumb to the pleas

of the dark place that looms ahead

offering the solace of a long lost friend

beckoning me home.

I have to live.

There exists a purpose that I must fulfill yet.

I must live.

I take a deep breath,

will my limbs to move.

I rise.

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